Writing. I haven’t felt like really writing anything for a long time. Even now I’m surprised that I want to write. It may be a fleeting thing. I may not even finish this whole post in order to post. This is year has again been crazy. My family has been diagnosed with Sleep Apnea. Chris has a moderate case. He wakes up 19 times an hour because he stops breathing. I wake up a mere 6 times an hour. Our daughter wakes up 2 times and our son wakes up 1 time per hour. That might not seem like much, but it causes our sleep to be interrupted and explains why we are all groggy during the day. Chris and I have been put on CPAP machines. It has worked wonders for Chris. He gets up in the morning instead of noon every day. I have had success, too. However, I think now that I am taking too much medication. I have good days, but I also have days where I feel worse than before. I can’t think straight and I want to stay in bed. So, now I am going to try to get off of all of my depression medications.
I have to say that is scares me a lot. I have tried before and it has not gone well. The side effects of going off of the medicine are worse than the depression. I found a program online that helps you to get off without side-effects. It is free, but you do have to buy the needed supplements. It’s called The Road Back. I would like to try it, but I need to come up with the $160-$200 to buy the supplements.
While waiting for God to provide the money for that this past week, Chris reminded me of a time that I felt God had healed me. I think I figured out why I wasn’t just done with everything then. I remember feeling that God was telling me to flush the medicine. And I was scared because of the side effects. I didn’t do it. I think that was my mistake. Now I wonder, if I can have a second chance. I feel like maybe God is saying, “Sure, if you can really believe.” But, can I? I can allow the fear to ruin things again! But am I hearing correctly? Maybe I will fast to try to find out.
As far as the kids go, they will be seeing a specialist tomorrow to see about an Adentonsillectomy. They will remove their tonsils and adenoids so that they can breathe better at night. I guess that if they have this done, it should help them to grow out of it. If you are a mouth breather as a child, your tongue can’t do its job to expand your palette and jaw. The narrower your jaw the more chance you have of having Sleep Apnea. Your tongue pushes your teeth apart in your sleep. I found that pretty interesting. I am a mouth breather, so I imagine that is what happened with me. I’ve also had 4 teeth and 1 wisdom tooth removed. I could really use the rest of my wisdom teeth removed because my jaw isn’t big enough and now my teeth are getting out of align again. I had braces in high school, but am losing all the benefits. The sleep doctor told us that we all have narrow jaws. Sleep Apnea can also be genetic. So, I guess our kids didn’t have much of a chance, anyway. Poor kids!
In other news, with all of this going on, I have had a hard time making myself preach. I’m sure I’ve mentioned before how I don’t enjoy preaching and hope that one day I will look forward to it. I always have difficulties when I have medicine changes (which is what is basically happening since I added the CPAP. It’s like I increased my other meds.). I have difficulty caring about anything. I don’t want to do the things I enjoy doing and it is almost impossible to make myself do things I don’t like to do. We have been late getting the kids to school a lot this school year. And that explains some of why I haven’t been blogging, as well.
I have been extra busy with scrapping duties, however. That is my escape right now. I was a guest on Nicole’s creative team (CT) in March. Now I am on The Digichick site CT. I am enjoying it a lot. There are so many good designers. But, I haven’t even kept up with posting layouts on my scrap blog.
I pray that this all ends soon and quickly. There is an update for you. I hope to not be such a stranger, but don’t count on it!