Yesterday I mentioned that I had an interesting visit with my doctor. Sometimes I think that I should switch doctors because mine isn’t too great at follow-through, but I generally like him, so I haven’t switched yet. Yesterday, his insight was pretty amazing. After that I really doubt I’ll be able to change doctors because he now has some serious insight into some of my medical issues. He basically told me that some of my problems are mental. That sounds bad, but he said it very nicely and he took me with him through his thought process so that it made sense and I wasn’t offended. He thinks that I feel I need more control over my life and so when I forget to take a medicine I feel better in some specific ways just because I feel like I am finally controlling my own life. This is hard to talk about without being specific, but I understood him and I think he is pretty right.

So what does that mean for me? I think it means that I need to intentionally take control of some aspect of my life that I am capable of taking control of. And that is what he said, but I think he is right. An example would be the dishes. If I decided that I was going to control the dishes by keeping the kitchen clean better, maybe that would make me feel like I was in control more so that other areas of my life could happen as they may and I would be happy with that. This is probably making no sense at all. That’s okay. This is mostly me retelling myself stuff so that I won’t forget it. I am frustrated with myself right now because of my lack of motivation after doing some medication changes. I am going back to the medications I was on so my life and body should even out more in the coming weeks. I look forward to that.

He also said that maybe I need to clarify the rolls I take on in life so I can differentiate between them. That part at first confused me becasue he was saying I need to compartmentalize my life and I always understood that to be a bad thing. But my hubby pointed out a time in his life where he was working several jobs and he had to compartmentalize in order to be a whole person. He needed to have a space in his life for each job so that he could go there and get that job done without having to think about the jobs. That makes sense to me. I carry several rolls. There is the Mom Elaine, the Minister Elaine, the Wife Elaine and the Elaine Elaine. This blogging stuff is the Elaine Elaine with a little bit of all the others thrown in. I think I’m going to buy a bracelet that will symbolize these various rolls so that it will remind me to keep on task and to do a better job of completing all the tasks in my life. I want something like a charm bracelet or one of those bracelets with the changeable links. Then I will get a charm/link for each roll in my life. What do you think of this idea? Now, I just need to save up some money so I can but something really cute!

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Today I’ve been thinking about a lot of things, but nothing I can really put into words yet. I can say that I talked to my doctor today about some medicine changes and he had some really great insight. It was more like I was talking to a psychologist than my family doctor. I appreciated what he had to say, but my brain is still processing it. I was also reading a book last night that had some good insight, but I’m still processing that, too. If I weren’t doing NaBloPoMo, I probably wouldn’t post tonight, but I am, so that is what little I’ve got. I’m also really tired tonight so my brain isn’t fully functioning. I’m sorry I haven’t got more to give. Hopefully tomorrow I will have plenty to say!

Yesterday I had to go to the doctor both for myself and Little Man. In the process, they checked my weight. It was not pretty! I don’t think anyone can tell yet, but I have gained back 20 pounds! I can definitely tell. I expected the extra 20 pounds, actually.

I have been having a hard time getting motivated to eat right. The problem is that I love sugar! I’m addicted! Really, really addicted. Besides that, my birthday is in a week, and I want to enjoy it. The day after that, I am going to Chicago with some family and a friend and I don’t want to worry about food then. I also want to enjoy Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Year’s.

So, here is my Pros and Cons of eating right list:

Pros:

  • More Energy
  • Get More Done In a Day
  • Less Fat
  • Fit into Clothes
  • Sick Less Often
  • Cranky Less Often
  • Happier
  • Less Chance of Dying Young
  • More Fun to the Kids (because I have energy)

Cons:

  • Can’t Eat Sweets Whenever I Want
  • Will Feel Guilty For Indulging on My Birthday
  • Will Feel Guilty Not Eating Right on Trip to Chicago

Well, I guess the pros outweigh the cons! And I already feel guilty, so that’s kind of null, too. So, tomorrow I start eating right (how I was taught in my very expensive, but worth it, classes)!